Part III: A happy ending

This is part 3 of my correspondence with "Miss Debora Johnson" and her attorney "Barrister John Ali" of Senegal, despereately attempting to get me to wire $1,300.00 to them in Senegal.

You can read part 1 here.

You can read part 2 here.

When we last left off, the good Barrister was trying to have me wire him $1,300.00 in fees to arrange a power of attorney for the lovely refugee "Miss Debora" (who would ultimately give me $5.7 million) - which of course would have only been the start until they bled my bank account dry (had I fallen for this, the joke would have ultimately been on them as I am very poor).

However, I decided to string them along for a while. I had already given the barrister a fake Western Union receipt number. After his first trip to the local Western Union, the Barrister sent me this....(notice how his correspondence is in all caps now, as he is getting a bit more agitated with me)

---------
To: Phil
From: Barrister John Ali

HELLO MR PHIL
I JUST RECEIVE THE INFORMATION ON YOU USE TO SEND THE MONEY.I WENT TO WESTERN UNION OFFICE THIS EVENING TO RECEIVE THE MONEY.THEY SAID THAT THE NUMBER IS NOT CORRECT.I WANT YOU TO SCAN THE PAYMENT SLIP AND SEND IT TO ME IMMEDIATELY SO THAT I WILL BE ABLE TO RECEIVE THE MONEY.I WAIT FOR YOUR URGENT REPLY.
BAR JOHN ALI.


To: Barrister John Ali
From: Phil

I am very sorry - it's possible I wrote the wrong number but I will double check.

Right now I am BACK at the movie seeing "Puss & Boots" for the 3rd time (it is a ridiculously entertaining movie - I find myself catching new things in it even after 2 other viewings - highly recommended!).

I do not have a scanner, though? My guess is I just typed a wrong number so I'll check as soon as I get back to make sure.

Sorry again,
Phil

To: Phil
From: Barrister John Ali

HELLO MR PHIL.
I JUST WANT YOU TO TRY AND SCAN THE PAYMENT SLIP AND SEND IT TO ME.IF YOU DON'T HAVE SCANNING MACHINE TRY AND FINE A PLACE AND SCAN THE PAYMENT SLIP AND SEND IT TO ME.I WAIT FOR YOUR URGENT REPLY.BAR JOHN.

To: Barrister John Ali
From: Phil

If you want, I am 99% positive I wrote the wrong number - it is 7693626589 I had mistakenly wrote two "8"s at the end of the sequence.

To: Phil
From: Barrister John Ali

HELLO MR PHIL.I TOLD YOU TO SCAN THE PAYMENT SLIP AND SEND IT TO ME.WITHOUT THE PAYMENT SLIP I CANT RECEIVE THE MONEY HERE.TRY AND SEE WHERE TO SCAN THE PAYMENT SLIP AND SEND IT TO ME.BEACUSE I WENT TO WESTERN UNION THEY SAID THAT THE NUMBER IS WRONG.BAR JOHN.

(I've now gotten him to make 2 trips to the Western Union)

To: Barrister John Ali
From: Phil

The new number or the old (wrong) number? I will do as you ask if you insist - I am going to a movie first as I bought tickets already (guess which one?) and after that I will see where they will scan the Western Union receipt.

Phil

To: Phil
From: Barrister John Ali

HELLO MR PHIL.THE TWO NUMBERS IS NOT CORRECT.TRY AND SCAN THE PAYMENT SLIP AND IT TO ME

To: Barrister John Ali
From: Phil

I've been walking around all night trying to find a place to scan my slip. Where do I go????????

To: Phil
From: Barrister John Ali

DONT YOU EVER PLAY WITH ME.I AM NOT A KIDS TO YOU.STOP PLAYIN WITH ME OR ELSE YOU WILL REGREAT T.

To: Barrister John Ali
From: Phil

I am NOT playing with you!! I AM NOT GOOD WITH TECHNOLOGY! I AM SORRY. I just bought a computer a week ago!!!!!!!! It's not my fault I am not familiar with all of this. I am only thinking of helping Miss Debora!! Maybe if you stop thinking of yourself and your precious money!!!!!!!! Why can't I just mail you a check like normal people!?

At this point, Miss Debora decides to intercede in my little dispute with the good Barrister. I have decided "regreat" is much better than "regret"!

To: Phil
From: Debora Johnson

why you have not send the payment slip?what happen?are you sure you send the money or you are just playing with me.

To: Debora Johnson
From: Phil

Miss Debora,

I have become saddened by this "barrister" john ali. He is being a jerk, and frankly I do not think he is looking out for your best interests.

Just because I have never sent anything by Western Union, or own a "scanner", he is talking in all caps and being generally mean.

I want to help you but I question the barrister's handling of all this in such an unprofessional manner.

Phil

To: Phil
From: Debora Johnson

Dear why did you send wrong number to the lawyer?that is the reason why the lawyer is not happy with you.i talk you send the money through western union why can't you scan the payment slip and send it to the lawyer.or you send the correct information so that the lawyer will receive the money.i don't believe you can do this to me.Please if you are ready to help me just send the money to the lawyer.

To: Debora Johnson
From: Phil

There are many numbers on the slip and I read it wrong, and am not certain he even tried the corrected number....I want to help but the Barrister is a "progress barrier", in my mind.

I must confess something to you Miss Debora - I am a lonely man. I am intrigued by your plight and desperately want to help you. I must ask you a very forward question and I hope you do not get offended. Will we ever make love? I would like to know that there is a future between us, and that it will involve passionate lovemaking that you so deserve.

I will do my best to get the payment scanned, which is not something I am familiar with but I know I am behind the times.

Fondly, Phil

To: Phil
From: Debora Johnson

Hello My Beloved Darling.Good morning to you. How was your sleep last night? I believe you have a wonderful sleep. It’s mine pleasure to know how you are doing over there. I believe God is at work in your life.

Darling I just read your mail this morning as I can understand what you mean. Darling i want to come and make love with you that is why i ask you to help me out from here so that i will join you over there. I am really hungry to see you in person.

What you have to do is to send the money you promise to send the so that the lawyer will prepare the document for me to join you over there.you are to send the MTCN________Amount___________Question________Answer_______and the name of the sender and the name of the receiver. try and send it immediately. just look well on the slip you will see those things.

I wait for your mail. your in love Debora.

Now for a classy response...

To: Debora Johnson
From: Phil

I can't wait to 'meat' you. I am breaking the record right now thinking about you. When I am finished pleasuring myself 13 times to the thought of your chocolate sweetness, I will go get the information.

Phil

To: Phil
From: Debora Johnson

Dear i am waiting for you to send the information so that the lawyer will go and receive the money.i wait for your mail.

To: Debora Johnson
From: Phil

Miss Debora, I am embarrassed to say that pleasured myself 13 times at the promise of your love making and now the Western Union receipt is covered with semen (and unreadable).

I am sorry.

Phil

To: Phil
From: Debora Johnson

you bastard don't you ever contact me again. f*ck you and your mother.

To: Debora Johnson
From: Phil

I love it when you talk dirty.