As an Auburn Alum, and it being football season in the south, I was sporting an Auburn University Polo. Being in the state of Alabama, my home state at that, I am very well aware of the incumbent trash talk to be endured by publicly endorsing your side of the Alabama/Auburn rivalry - BUT, this morning, it was a bit too much.
When entering the station, I was greeted with, "Oh hell, another Barner gracing our store this morning" - The first warning shot over the proverbial Auburn bow, by the cashier dressed in Wal-Mart's finest replica "Roll Tide Roll" Starter jersey. With no response, I figured the firing would cease...I was wrong. Alabama's finest fan decided to continue his onslaught with such well thought out insults as:
"Did Cam Newton's Dad buy your gas?"
"How early did you have to get up to milk those cow's down at your cow college"
"Will under armour take away your shirt too when the NCAA takes Auburn's National Championship"
I felt my neck start to swell, but still had no intention of responding to the elephant in the room.
I made my way to the check out counter, passing a display of Little Debbie Oatmeal Cream Pies, with a hand written advertisement above them, "Nick Saban's Breakfast of Champions, 3 for $1", I had to laugh. Not at the implicit humor of Alabama fans worshiping all that is Nick Saban, but the fact that "Breakfast" was spelled wrong the first time, without the E. Therefore, when added in, it looked more like BR^eAKFAST.
As I was paying for my coffee, the cashier promptly began to throw out the insults -
"Why do you root for Auburn?" - Well Sir, I went to college there.
"Did you study trailer park construction?"
"Could you not get into Alabama?"
Doing my best to ignore the brute, as he did substantially outweigh me, I kept quiet - But I had quite enough at this point. As he gave me my change, he had one last parting blow, "Why in the hell would you ever go to college at Awwwwburn?"
As my blood finally began to boil, I obliged him with a concise, yet effective answer
"So I would never have to work at a gas station"
That's a beautiful story. : )
ReplyDeleteWe root for our favorite teams after driving a route from home to the stadium. :-)
ReplyDeleteWar Eagle anyway!
WAR DAMN EAGLE
ReplyDeleteI'm an Alabama fan and this is just sickening to me. This makes me mad that there are people that would say those things. It shows no class. I believe that both teams fans have tremendous class, yet there are always the ones who have an ego the size of NYC and have to insult everything one school does. Both schools have great football teams, I can't wait to see what this seasong has to offer
ReplyDeleteseason*
ReplyDeleteI don't know...I can like the word 'seasong' for season better. Much kinder and gentler than what I think is in store for us...
ReplyDeleteRob,
ReplyDeleteI agree with you 100%. I am sure there is a mirror image of "Mr. Chevron" wearing orange and blue somewhere.
AKA,
ReplyDeleteYou may be right, we are in for a bumpy ride this year. Hope the coaches earn their money.
War Eagle
Well, as an Auburn fan also, there may be some similar "fans" in orange and blue, but in this state the crimson and white ones out number them at least two to one. Therein, the ones you describe here are certainly more plentiful and difficult to tolerate. Great blog Mr. ODP
ReplyDeleteUgh, people can be so disheartening. As not just an Alabama fan (married to an Auburn fan!) but also just a plain old person -- if someone working in a gas station, or any kind of business, spoke to me in that manner, they'd certainly never get my business again.
ReplyDeleteNice comeback, by the way -- made me chuckle! =)
Cashier in Wal-Mart Roll Tide shirt, Little Debbies comments, fan worship (ye of replica coaches shirt) and overweight commentary. Nope, not buying it, but your group will. Forgot the walking spell check line. What an imagination there.
ReplyDeleteSweet response...I was greeted with an arrogant Roll Tide in Virginia at work yesterday...my simple response was...28-27!
ReplyDeleteAnonymous,
ReplyDeleteYou are right on one point. I don't have much of an imagination, which is why I choose to write about true events. The walking stereotype cashier does exist.
What would you bet that the cashier never attended UA and, most likely, has never been on campus ... just watches the games with a case of Natty-Lite? The UA and AU fans that seems the most adamant seem also to have never attended. You do realize that the football teams are really NFL farm clubs housed at Universities!
ReplyDeleteMrs. Landrum,
ReplyDeleteThanks for the comment! I would normally agree and never go back to said establishment, but I have to check back in on this store in the future for pure entertainment purposes...and may wear a bama shirt and egg him on a bit.
This is absolutely why people from the Alabama (UA and AU fans) are perceived as unintelligent, uneducated red necks. I am an Alabama fan 100% but am more than happy to support Auburn when they don't play Alabama. Why? They are our friends and neighbors!
ReplyDeleteI've had a very similar story happen to me the other way around. I went to (and graduated from) Alabama and I've run into Auburn fans that taunted me and wanted to know WHY I would choose Alabama over Auburn.
ReplyDeleteI'm surprised you held your tongue as long as you did. Good story, well written.
BamaBrooke,
ReplyDeleteI'm sure the Auburn version is out their in full force too. Crazy how some fans truly bring out the root word "Fanatic" to the mainstream. Thanks for posting!
BamaBrooke is FOS.
ReplyDeleteAlabama has no lock on idiot fans. Some people are just assholes. Obviously the gas station clerk was one of those people.
ReplyDeleteI like to dish out Roll Tides and make fun of Auburn just like the rest of us, but this dip stick carried it too far. I am sorry for what you had to go through. Rivalries are good but not to the point of harm. By the way great come back.
ReplyDelete